Aluminum Storage Boxes

Parker whistled an air show old who walked into the bunker to reach the stairs to the upper deck. aluminum storage boxes towered over him from all sides, blocking most of the light bulbs on the walls. The bright circle of light as a flashlight with its swinging at every step, ricocheting off the walls, boxes, and ceiling. He heard a crash in front of him and started running, flashlight from a cord around his wrist. "Who's there?" Has he said, panting.

It has reached the end of the line and stopped to listen, but the cavernous hall had fallen into a deathly silence. He craned his head to the left and right, but saw nothing and nobody. After a moment of indecision, he rushed to the right, footsteps echoing loudly on the metal floor. He heard another crash behind him and spun around, sprinting in the opposite direction. He arrived at the end of the alley, where he was positive he had heard the noise, but there was nobody. Another crash sounded through the room, and Parker called again. "Who's there?" No answer. He argued in the corner, the readjustment of the flashlight in her embrace. It would be another weapon, but if necessary it would be able to use it as a club. "I know there is someone there!" Parker's voice trembled with fear and the words came out with a squeak. "Hello? Oliver? Is this you? "Another accident, closer this time." Well, you're not funny Oliver! Oliver?

A heavy boot scraped the ground in the driveway of Parker. He turned, forcing the eyes to see who was there. A heavy object has received a blow to the back of his head, making him fall to the ground. His consciousness wavered. He groaned. Another blow on his hip. The hard-soled shoes, he had heard collided with his stomach. More shots, again and again and again. His head was wet with blood and every part of him that has not been insensitive to shock flapping, hunting the pain in his body. He coughed, and blood ran down his chin. The metallic taste was bitter on his tongue. Was it his mother, he could hear? I am so disappointed that you Parker. His father? Where did we go wrong? You are a failure. He groaned. Another shot, a kick to the face. Something creaked. His nose? Blood ran down his cheek to the floor, joining the pool already present, slow-growing size. The voice of his college roommate Anthony joined his parents. Why you gotta get all men doped? I had all my life. His former girlfriend, Bethany. I said no. Why do not you understand? Have you been too high. The dean of the college. You cheated. I had no choice. You were a smart boy ... I told them to check for weapons.

The chorus of voices has been overwhelming. Soon he could no longer distinguish between the words and beats his head. The silence. The sole of a shoe pressed on her neck, pushing ¸ choking in a jiffy. He had not realized that he had spoken aloud.

This scene literally had me almost in tears. How is it? I've never really written a violent scene like that before.

I thought it was great!
WOWOW!
I can imagine the thing .. description of everything that was great!